Puzzle Description:

I need to get rid of about 50 boxes of my daughter's "stuff" - including several boxes of stuffed animals.

#1: Teresa K (fasstar) on Dec 30, 2010 [SPOILER]

About a year ago, I moved Karie and John from a 1500 sq. ft. house to a 950 sq. ft. apartment. (Karie and John are my two disabled adult children). I ended up with about 50 boxes of "stuff" - all of it Karie's - at my house because it didn't fit in their apartment.

Karie has Prader-Willi Syndrome, and it is common for individuals with PWS to be OCD and to hoard, and also to have terrible emotional meltdowns when anyone messes with their "stuff."

I can't just give it all away, as there's some good stuff among the junk that she really should keep. I can't just have a garage sale, because she's afraid someone else will get HER stuff. She is as smart as a 10-year-old, and can argue like a lawyer, but has the emotional capacity of a two-year-old. I'm not exaggerating.

I told her we HAVE to do something about it, as I would really like to be able to walk through my office without climbing over boxes, and I'd like my guestroom back. So I had her pick a box to start with. I gave her one empty box marked "keep" and one empty box marked "give away" and a big waste basket. I left her alone for half an hour, then she announced she was done. She had place every single thing into the "keep" box. The next box she sorted, she did a little better - she put all but one thing into the "keep" box. She was willing to part with the artificial rose an old boyfriend had given her. I told her once she has 10 boxes of stuff she wants to keep, I will put it in my storage room, and everything else goes. She is having a major anxiety attack over this. Just like on the TV reality show about hoarders.

It must be hard to say goodbye to stuffed animals like this when they are looking at you with those big sad eyes. :-)

wow - nice puzzle and very poignant story. i like the stuffed animals peeking out of the boxes.

nice line drawings

I know nothing of PWS but I do know a lot about OCD and hoarding. Would it work for her to personally hand a stuffed animal over to a needy child? Then it would be going to someone she knew (or at least, have met) who she could "trust" with her stuffy.

Thanks, Linda and Bugaboo.

Wendy, that's a great idea, and we have tried that. We are a very loving, giving, generous, charitable family. But Karie's conscience is wired-stuck at the 2-year-old level. You know what it would be like to take a favorite toy from a 2-year-old. :-) Everything she hangs onto is a favorite or special to her in some way.

She has never been able to share willingly with anyone, even those she loves. It's just the way her brain is wired. I have even offered to pay her a big lump sum for her extra stuff that she doesn't need anymore, but she just can't part with them. According to her, each thing she has saved has some sentimental value. I told her I would put it all in storage and she could pay the monthly storage fee, but since she is living on Social Security Disability Income (just enough for the bare basics), that's not a realistic option.

I have warned her that one of these days, I'm going to go through it all and decide for her what to keep and what to get rid of. And of course that makes her furious. But she's been warned, and I will do it, and she will "ground" me for a month - refuse visits and phone calls, threaten to go AWOL, or try to get even with me somehow (that really scares me because of the lack of conscience thing)... until she needs me to intervene when she has a problem with her staff. :-) The joys of coping with PWS!

Ha, as soon as I read the description, I had to check and make sure my mother didn't create the puzzle...

:-D, Holly.

if it's the sentimentality of the items and the memories that each evokes, maybe she would let you take a picture of each non-essential item. That way the pictures can be uploaded to a flickr account (or similar site) and she has easy access to "memory lane". Seems like that would bring her much greater joy than not getting to have the memories because the stuff is just stored in a box. The trick, I guess, is that the picture-taking idea and the getting rid of the item idea aren't mutually exclusive. she could like the first and still not want the follow-through of the second.

or, if she doesn't have internet access, she could make a simple scrapbook? printing photos might cost less than the lump sum you offered her in the first place.

Not much fun. I don't see the story.

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