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#1: Alaris Zaaqurin (zephyr) on May 1, 2008

This is my favorite joke. I apologize for the puzzle. :)

lol very nice.

Sounds like a joke JC would like.

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Mercy I thought the same thing :)

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new concept here after rebus puzzle joke-puzzle

I can see so many following this one

*groan* My son will love that joke! Maybe we could all do a series with the joke setup in the title and the punchline in the description.

lol Alaris. :)

I LOVE ___________ walks into a bar jokes!

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A guy walks into a bar. He should have ducked.

A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." So the string goes outside, ties himself into a knot and frays his edges a bit. He walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string I kicked out of here a minute ago?" The string says, "Nope, I'm afaid not" (a frayed knot!)

Groan, groan, groan, I know!

lol. I've never heard that last one before Arduinna

JC has a bunch of those jokes on his MySpace...

Jen...you need to come out west, My son is dating a very odd girl...help me help him :)

I had not heard this one about the peanut, nor the frayed knot ... they both made me laugh outloud. I also liked the that it went with a short puzzle - clever.

I for one would LOVE to solve more of these puzzles. Thanks for the great chuckle.

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a coke. The bartender says "We don't serve food here."

That's the only other joke I have. :)

I haven't heard that one before either Alaris.

I got your email Naneki, did you get mine?

I'm actually not on JC's Myspace. I don't know why.

A panda walks into a bar, orders a sandwich, eats it, pulls out a gun, shoots another patron, and starts walking toward the door. The bartender yells, "Hey, why'd you do that?" The panda says, "I'm a panda." Bartender says, "so?" Panda says, "look it up." So the bartender looks in his dictionary: "Panda--native of China. Eats, shoots, and leaves."

Not only a hilarious joke, but a lesson on the importance of proper comma placement!

Yes Jen got it!
Arduinna, go into mine & you can enter JC's from there (there are 2 JC's on my site, he's NOT the first one)

Does he look all tweedy in an armchair? I think I've seen it-- don't know why I didn't add it. JC's good people!

I think his picture right now is of a beach,
but he used to have the tweed professor thing going :)

it give him a serious look that contradicted all the dump thing coming out of his mouth....just kidding JC my soul brother when it come to snappy comment.

You're not really kidding, are you Sylvain? ;)

LOL

we have this saying in French that say: If the hat fit you then its probably yours.

meaning that if you feel touch or concern by a comment that mean that the comment was for you.

So if the hat fit JC head well.... just kidding ( AM I ??)

That sounds like one I've heard Sylvain: "If the shoe fits, wear it."

exactly but with a diffrent assessory

I think I like hats better then shoes.

Many heads are the same size. Just because my hat fits you, doesn't mean you can have it.

I want it..... :(

A termite walks into a bar and says "is the bartender here?"

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Of which we would LOVE to see :)

You should make a puzzle of your physical comedy.

I don't know if you CAN make a puzzle about arm-pit farts. :P

LOL!!!

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The termite would actually be saying "Is the bar tender here"... since termites eat wood and I assume most bars are made out of wood... so the termite is inquiring as to how tasty and tender the bar is. :)

It took me awhile to get that termite joke as well.

Here's a long joke:

There was a lonely old woman who had a pet bunny. Next door to her was a nice, middle aged man who had a pet bulldog.

One day this man was coming home from work and saw his dog running around with an old rag in its mouth. The man went to take this rag from his dog only to discover it was the old woman's rabbit!

The man quickly went inside and filled the bath tub. He washed the bunny and fluffed up its fur and put it back in its cage before the old woman noticed he was missing.

The next day the man is leaving for work and sees his neighbor out in the yard. He asks her how she's doing and she says "I'm doing ok. But we've had a death in the family." The man says "oh?" And the old woman says:

"Yes, it was Fluffy. But the funny thing is, after we buried him, someone dug him up and put him back in his cage!"

Thank you Francesca! I didn't get that one either.

JoDean's joke reminds me of some kid's joke with numbers. Unfortunately, I don't remember the joke--only the punchline. I *think* it's why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

I've always felt that the "I'm afraid knot" joke and the "bartender" joke are backwards joke. You don't tell them to make other people laugh, you tell them to laugh at the complete incomprehension on the faces of the people they are being told to. So they are really more prank than joke. Insiders who have heard the joke before get to laugh at outsiders who haven't.

Though there is an undercurrent of that in an awful lot of jokes. Maybe that's why I'm not that much of a joke teller.

Comments like these are probably why I have been accused of having no sense of humor.

I got it straight away Jan, and I laughed at it, I love the frayed knot one too, it is the only joke I can remember and tell properly. Now I have two jokes to remember, hehe!

If any of you are blonde, then please feel free to NOT read the next several jokes...







How do you make a blonde drown?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

What did the blonde say when she poured a bowl of Cheerios?
Look, donut seeds!

How can you tell a blonde has been using the computer?
There is white-out on the monitor.

This certain blonde always had headphones on; constantly, day or night. She never took them off. One day, while she was sleeping, her friend took the headphones and the blonde died. The friend put them on herself and listened to what was playing. What did she hear?
"Breathe in, breathe out."

The blonde heard that most accidents occur within 5 miles of home, so she moved.

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

More later!!! :-)

LOL!! Love that last one!! ;)

why is it that you can not count on a blonde to call 911 in case of emergencie

they don't know where the eleven is on the phone

Why doesn't a blonde make ice cubes?
She doesn't know the recipe

LOL..sounds like my sister-in-law REALLY!

My goodness people, look at what I've missed this past month! I think this is the best pbn thread yet!
Thanks for the puzzle and original joke Alaris.
Thanks to everyone else for the rest. :)

We missed you Gypso!

Missed you too Arduinna! :)

rofl. These are great!

One more for the bar, I'll duck & run afterwards:
A giraffe walks into a bar and says, "Hi boys, the highballs are on me."

LOL

this is a great series of comments.

LOL

Some jumper cables walk into a bar...the bartender looks up and says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Since I'm part Irish, I feel I can tell this one:

Two Irish guys walk out of a bar ...

Maybe, someday, I mean it's theoretically POSSIBLE, no one's ever actually SEEN it happen of course ...

A peanut walked into a bar, and the bartender yelled at him "HEY ! Get out of here ! This is a bar, we don't serve food here !"

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