Puzzle Description:

What did you use on me to knock me out,chloroform?...That's Carl's and my secret. Mobster,ha what a joke. The mob would never recruit a schmuck like you. I should of known when Cans told me your name was Lance Schvinklehammer. The mob wouldn't suffer the embarrassment Of recruiting a guy named Lance. So what kind of weapon is that?... It's a toilet brush... What were you gonna do,scrub me to death?...My plan was to scare you into dropping the investigation on me... Why Lance,what are you hiding?...I don't want Candace to know what i do for a living...What is your occupation?... I'm a Fuller Brush salesman...Snicker,snicker,well i'm glad you came clean with me Lance,but why does Candice's father suspect your a mob guy?...They're one of my biggest customers,i'm at the Godfathers place once a week...Your kidding me right,what does the mob order so much of?... Well a lot of bleach for one thing,and dark plastic bags,and loads of nail brushes...Nail brushes huh,go figure. So why don't you want Candace to know your real job,is it cause you don't make enough money to keep her in the style she's accustomed to. I mean it shouldn't take too much cash,it's not like she's a classy babe,she wears Fruit of the Loom undies...Bonk,slap,kapow...ugh,thump.

#1: John Macdonald (perlwolf) on Sep 25, 2012 [SPOILER]

I wonder if Guy has a twin brother that got separated at birth? "Lance" (only adopted parents would give a kid *that* name) bears quite a resemblance to Guy.

don't blame him for slugging you...knowing his wife's undies

Lol,he does doesn't he. Their not related,but they do shop at the same hat store,and they smoke the same brand of cigarettes. Lance is a fancy handle.:)

Tom,I wanted to have her wearing "Fredericks of Hollywood",or "La Senza",but that just didn't fit right in the story,lol.:)

i thought he was going to hit him with the key to the city, good one aldege :)

Lol,thx Travis.:)

Great!

Great. Keep 'em coming.

Thx Jota,and Norma,i'll try.:)

No sense. Not fun to do or read.

I see what BC is saying: If you have no sense, these puzzles are not fun to do or read. Fortunately, most of us have sense. I'm loving them, so I must be extremely sensible. :-)

Snicker snicker, John. The funniest thing is that BC probably won't even read that, or even "get it." :-)

Thx Blackcat,i always look forward to your "makes no sense" comments.:)

You must be John,and slightly warped like me. I'm so happy to hear that your loving them John,cause i've been having fun making them,and i'm loving the humour that you've been adding to them with your comments. I know others have been enjoying your comments as well. Adam is right,BC probably wont read your comment,but i enjoyed reading it,lol. Thx again John.:)

Aldege, look at all the banter and the back and forths. That's a big part of what makes your puzzles so much fun.

Thx Norma,i agree that does make it more fun.:)

Back to #1: My daughter had a childhood friend whose dad's name was Lance Steel. Honest.

OMG,now that's a handle for a porn star,lol.:)

My sister was in grade school with a girl named Fannie Mae Sprinkle.

That's hilarious Norma,where have i heard that name from before?,was it in a comic strip?,Little Abner maybe?

Daisy Mae was Li'l Abner's gal. Ellie Mae was the Beverly Hillbillies' daughter. Fannie Mae is a corrupt US government agency that provides loans to at-risk families. The name comes from the acronym FNMA, for Federal National Mortgage Association.

I realize that "corrupt government agency" is fairly redundant. ;)

however, Kristen, its true

My sister really, really had a grade school friend named Fanny Mae Sprinkle. My brother's friend named Bobby Hoar married a girl named Ima. I had a friend named Gaye who married Bob Gay. She decided to go by her middle name, Marilyn. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Not nearly as funny, but years ago I knew Xenia Zekulin. At her Russian Orthodox baptism when she was 13 she picked the baptismal middle name Yvonne so her initials would be XYZ.

I knew a lot of girls with hippy names, since we were born in 1975. Lots of Summers and Misty Dawns, and one girl named Crystal Glass. Our middle school choir teacher's maiden name was Joy Christmas.

Lear of Lear jet fame named his daughter Crystal Shanda Lear. Although she apparently only goes by Shanda now. But I had a friend working for the computer industry in California who met her at a cocktail party when she was still Crustal Shanda. And, of course, we have more that a few musicians who gave their children some really strange names.

Great stuff girls.:)

A friend of my sister named her daughter Amanda Lynn (I guess it struck a chord), and my boss said his roommate Richard always went by the nickname Dick - and the roommate's brother John always used his middle initial "P" - even though their last name was Long.

I met someone once with the name Joe King.

Parents are either cruel or oblivious.

I had a friend whose last name was Pinque, which they pronounced Pink, like the color. His parents named his brother Peter. When Peter joined the army you can imagine the stifled giggles when his name was called out in military fashion, "Pinque, Peter."

when i was in 3rd grade we had to put our initials on the blackboard if we went to the restroom,to this day i have never forgotten this girls name, it was Rita Ann Triano (RAT) and when i worked for revlon there was a young lady there and her name was Merry Christmas

My initials were KEV, and when I was in kindergarten, the teacher tried to give MY crayons to a boy named Kevin!

Poor Kristen.

Speaking of initials, a couple of our older neighbors have license plates with their initials on them (like LJM-MKM). Since my initials are JAC and my wife's are AS, I decided not to surprise her with a vanity plate.

Thanks, it was very traumatic for 5-year-old me. Wise decision on the vanity plates. :)

My husband was G H Dee, PhD. Our friends told us we should have named our son Peter or Paul so he could be P H Dee, PhD

These are all hilarious,thx gang.:)

I have a cousin, Kelly, whose married name is Green.

A long time ago I heard about a guy with the last name Quack who was in med school. When he got married, he took his wife's last name so he would not be Dr. Quack.

And I take offense to the slam on government agencies. I worked hard during my 33-year Civil Service career, helping to keep the world safe for Democracy!

Sorry :)

I'm sorry too Joel,it was all in fun. I also was an Ontario Government employee for 8 yrs,and several friends of mine were and still are. There actually was a Dr. Quack in practice in Hamilton Ontario,i always found that funny.:)

Ah, that reminds me - there was a "Dr." Toeback around here - a chiropractor, of course. I wonder if his patients got athlete's back?

LOL Joe.:)

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